My mother is a Finnish swan
That got blown off course.
She landed in my father’s dreams that pulled her,
out of her entire life and into his.
She bore his children and covered us all in his history,
which is clogging up her veins,
And the memory of her lack of motherhood
It was her husband’s dreams
Awash with all that went before
Awash away the pain, the pain.
She’s crying again.
It’s 3 am.
The coffee’s cold.
It did not used to be this way
Remember the ‘before these days’.
I wonder what she still loves him for.
She loved him too much
Helped him make his dream
She did all the whisking work
He got all the cream.
Mum has become a stranger.
Dad is not living alone.
Together they divided up what once to me
Mum tortures herself with remembering.
Dad pretty much tries to forget.
I walk a kind of tightrope
Without a safety net.