Life is fully at the bottom edge.
But if that is the case it can only get better.
For my birthday I have gained a little distance from the situation. A little space. At the moment it is freezing cold (-25C). No burner…that works and no water plan yet.
I am going to phone Dad tonight and be honest, tell him the whole sad story and see what he thinks I should do….but my instinct is to stay here a while.
It is already a new ‘home’ somehow.
a) I could return to the U.K. for Christmas. Spend time with the family and start again over there (and then have to deal with all the bullshit re-how I never do anything with my life and constant criticism.)
b) I could get my money sent and just go to Australia/India (then have to deal with all the guilt and ‘conditions’ that come with that ££…)
c) I could stay and try to find work in Berlin, struggle through and come out stronger for it. Renew the Berlin experience. Sweeten the memory.
If I stay I must:
Do something with Millie’s remains. Take photos etc.
Go to the police with Silka and file a complaint re-the other driver.
Sort out a burner and a door handle.
Go to Brooklyn and M. Strasse.
Make a tub of wood and a pile of kindling for under my wagon. Fix the stove pipe.
Now….go and make myself some breakfast. Oooo…its Sunday. Go to Brooklyn and get a breakfast there.”