August. London, 1994.

“I feel today that I slid back a little. I know that it’s rescuable, but these waves of ‘nowhere’ness really do me in.

It’s like I realised that I alone cannot ‘save’ them( the Kalash) and that maybe they don’t want or need saving. I’d realised this before, but needed a reminder.

Also my ‘inbuilt’ guilt about the world clicked into over load when I went to support the M11 protest. Against the new motorway.

They are sooo right.

But somehow to join them would not be right for me.

Totally confused.

How is it that this country twists me around so completely?

I cannot let it – I know who I am and I must also remain flexible.”

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